How to Stay Spiritually Strong as a Mom when your Kids Don’t

guestgeniusHaving a child in trouble is the most difficult thing that a mother can go through, and it can be very difficult to be able to see through these dark times. However, as a mother your children depend on you to remain strong and to guide them regardless of the difficulties that both you and they are going through. In order to take the best possible care of your children you will need to draw upon your own inner strength.

Don’t Blame Yourself

When something goes wrong with your children the natural impulse is to blame yourself. While you can look honestly at your actions and see whether you may have contributed to the problem and whether there are some items you need to change you also need to recognize that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. Very often there is simply nothing a mother can do to make sure that their child never goes astray and never falters. Children are their own people, and a responsible mother raises independent children that will sometimes make the wrong choices.

Consider Therapy

Professional help can help the entire family not just the afflicted member. While it’s a great idea to get your children into therapy when they’re experiencing difficulties it can also be important for a mother to go into therapy too. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one way to avoid negative thoughts and focus on the positive for more information click on the link. Therapy doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, it simply means that you want some help to deal with difficult problems. A qualified therapist can give you the tools that you need to properly express yourself to your children and to deal with the changes they’re going through. Parents who are struggling with how to talk to their children can also benefit from training.



Don’t Focus On Failure

Everyone breaks down sometimes, but that doesn’t take away from the times that they have been strong. If you suffer from a setback or a bad mood, then let yourself feel those feelings for the moment. You don’t want to dwell, but you also don’t want to deny yourself the right to naturally express yourself and to naturally react to a bad situation. While you do have to be strong, this doesn’t mean you have to be stoic at all times. If you feel the need to cry at times, it’s your right to do so. It’s also your right to then wipe off your tears, hold your shoulders high, and continue to do the most important job in the world: be a mother.

How To Stay Spiritual Strong As A Mom When Your Kids Don't

Annabelle Smyth is from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and is married to the coolest husband ever. They are raising two angels right now but they are both super messy and a handful sometimes. She is a huge sports enthusiast and loves cheering for the badgers and the bucks! She can not tell you how excited she is that the bucks made the playoffs! In her free time she loves to write and read and watch a good movie. She and her husband currently live in Utah which makes it difficult to watch her favorite teams play.

A time for everything

Ecclesiastes 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven

time

Image courtesy of Danilin/
freedigitalphotos.net

If you’ve been keeping up, you know that Flash, my third offspring due within the next few weeks, has been giving us a run for our money. He started by freaking us out with only one umbilical artery. We learned in that moment that the Internet can be both helpful and freak-out-inspiring. Turns out, other than the single umbilical artery, all is good. His heart looks great. His kidneys are functioning. He’s growing very well (he’s in the 98th % right now!).

Then, he decided it would be funny to be footling breech for a week or so. Again, we freaked out. Granted, I didn’t want to have a c-section after two other non-c-section births. I could deal with it, though, if it meant everyone was healthy. We were more freaked out with what could happen if I went into labor before I was ready and his foot was “down there.”

In an effort to fix the breech issue, I did everything I could think of:

  • I went to my amazing Reflexologist friend
  • I prayed about and visualized the desired positioning.
  • I crawled on the floor like a baby.
  • I tried peppermint oil.
  • I put frozen packs on my upper belly to encourage him to run away from it.
  • I put my earphones low on my belly to coax him down there.
  • I visited the chiropractor to “open” my pelvic area.

Seriously, I feel like I tried everything. And, something worked. Something made Flash turn to the right direction as we discovered yesterday at our ultrasound (which also revealed that his estimated weight at only 37 weeks is already 8 pounds 7 ounces – wow!).

But, I know that no matter what I tried, he wasn’t going to turn unless he was going to turn. Yes, that sounds like I messed up that sentence. But what I mean is that I really didn’t have control here.

When I posted on Facebook that he had, indeed, decided to participate, one of my friends responded with this:

toeverything

And this got me to thinking. My friend was right. To everything, there is a season. There is a time for everything.

One of my “techniques” for getting Flash to turn was to simply pray. I say “simply” because it’s probably the easiest of the things I tried. And most likely, it was what really did the job. Because in my prayers, I told God that I was going to give it up to Him. I was okay with whatever He chose to be our story of Flash’s birth, and although I may be sad or disappointed, I trusted that He would protect me.

In fact, the night before we had the ultrasound, I said out loud that I’d resigned myself to the c-section. As much as I didn’t want to have one, I was okay with it.

And wouldn’t you know it that the next morning, after giving up that control, Flash was turned?

Now, I can’t say that he won’t get ornery again and decide to flip at the last minute. But, what I can say is that I’ve learned yet another important lesson: I’m still not in control. I can support things; I can try to help things along; I can do my best to be responsible. But, I can’t think that I make things happen!

With that said, I leave you with the Byrds. Enjoy!

God loves us – No matter what

“In Christ I have a righteousness that is not my own and that does not come from the Law but rather from the faithfulness of Christ. It is the righteousness of God that is based on faith.” (Philipians 3:9b)

philipians 3:9b

It’s easy to think that we’re horrible people and undeserving of anyone’s love – let alone the love of the God Most High who gives us so many wonderful things of which we are certainly not deserving.

A friend of mine posted this passage from her Saturday devotional:

Because God accepts us before we have done anything to earn acceptance, we can be bold and confident, rather than anxious and self-obsessed. God loves us. That’s that. Relax. Your life is not a self-improvement project. Simply be. God loves us, forgives us, accepts us. So we are free. And that freedom allows us to respond thankfully with spontaneous love. Love of God; love of neighbor; and love of self. That’s all there is to it.

I love this because it’s so true.

Have I made awful decisions in the past? Oh yes.

Have I hurt someone’s feelings and not felt bad about it? Unfortunately, yes.

Does God forgive me and love me anyway? Thankfully, yes.

Paul learned about God’s love in quite the amazing way. Remember, he was Saul and wasn’t the nicest of people. But God chose him and converted him and look at what Paul accomplished.

The same could be true for me and for you. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t underestimate your value. Remember that Someone very important loves you — unconditionally.

I know this because of my gorgeous family.

…my job that lets me stay home.

…the blessings that continue to rain down on us.

In what ways do you see God’s love in your life?

Devotional Source:  http://www.episcopalcafe.com/thesoul/pauls_conversion.html

When there are no words…

How can we comfort those who are in pain? I have no clue what it must be like for the parents at Sandy Hook Elementary school who are either hearing news that their child is safe or hearing the words no parent should ever have to hear. As confused as most everyone else in this country, I don’t know where else to turn but to Him.

Psalm 119:50

He is Always There – Psalm 11

How often do we find ourselves feeling alone? I don’t mean alone because we gloriously have 20 minutes at the grocery store sans children or significant other but rather, utterly and completely alone?

In my life, I’ve been lucky enough to not feel completely alone too often. There was a time when I thought my world was caving in on me, and I wondered what I’d done wrong to make things so bad. Surely it was the end, and I’d never find a way to crawl out of the blackhole that had formed around me. It was an ugly time, and all these years later, I can look back to see that I wasn’t alone. Ever.

Since finding out that Flash has one umbilical artery and freaking out about it, I have to say that I never truly felt that same impending doom. Yes, I was afraid — the nurse who called with the information wasn’t very warm or full of explanations. I had to turn to Google for a description of what this meant and could mean for our unborn baby. (And let me just say that while the Internet is brimming with information, it really isn’t reliable…in case you were wondering.)

Friends and family were sending us texts and emails and Facebook notes to encourage us. And one special friend, SBW, sent me a verse from Psalm 11. It reminded me that while I may feel discouraged, I’m not alone. He is always there.

My friend, Richard over at Naked Eye Graphic Design, turned the verse into a meme for me. I’m sharing in hopes that when or if you feel alone or swimming in a blackhole, you can remember that no matter what, God is always there. He’s not going anywhere.

http://www.nakedeyegraphicdesign.com/