E: Expectations and Experience #AtoZChallenge
I’ve been a mom for a little over 11 years. That’s more than a decade. In a “job,” that’s a long time. But I feel like I honestly am still brand new at this gig.
When my oldest was born, I knew very little. I’d babysat kids and taught kids and played with kids, but none had been mine for 24 hours a day. So, I just went with it. I did what mostly felt right or what I’d read in a book or what my friends said they were doing. I figured it out in those first years, and she has turned out pretty great.
But then our second came along, and it was like I had no experience whatsoever.
He seemed to cry all night. It hurt when he nursed. I was exhausted and pacing and crying. His first few weeks of life were not the easiest. So when we were ready to welcome his little brother a couple of years later, I braced for the worst. Since the Animal had been so hard, Flash was likely to be difficult, too.
Wrong.
Flash was crazy easy. Granted, he had some other “issues” during pregnancy that kept us nervous, but as a baby he was easy peasy. For the most part.
Everyone said that when you welcome baby #4, it’s such an easy transition. I expected that she would just come on in to the family and fit right in. She pretty much did, but that whole baby-4-is-easy mumbo jumbo is just that.
Baby 4 was probably the hardest transition for me. Granted, having three kids under the age of 5 was probably the first reason it was difficult. I also had more plates spinning in the air this time around. And I’m older. Ugh. Aging.
My expectations were that I had so much experience that I’d be golden. I wouldn’t struggle as much because I’m an old (get it?) pro at this.
Again. Wrong.
Just as I was clueless with Miss Sassy Pants, I find myself clueless with Baby Diva. She has thrown us for a loopin these last few months that have me asking for help in places that I “should” have been an expert.
In what ways have you found yourself questioning your expertise as a parent?
I’m participating in the A to Z Challenge. Come hang out!
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When I think of opposites, I think two ends of a straight line. How, then, can all of my children be so opposite one another while having so very little in common? This truly baffles me!
It’s really strange (and pretty cool) how different they can truly be!
I have 3 daughters, a sister 4 years and a brother 10 years older than my first. Sprinkle in the dozens of foster babies my mom took in, Ann the babysitting an church nursery sitting I did, and I felt READY! Untill a week after #1 was born, and I left my moms house for mine. And she needed a bath, and I cried. I had done this innumerable times, but this time I was RESPONSIBLE! My mom laughed when I called her in tears, then calmed me down, instructed me, reassured me, and she survived her first bath.
I cried a lot that first few days. While very successful at nursing, I cried cause that’s all I felt comfortable with, and prayed, “Lord, I’m so inadequate. What can I possibly teach my child?” He said, teach her how to laugh.
So I did, we all laughed, then added 2 sibs, 5 & 6 years later.
I think I did a VERY GOOD JOB at parenting. They ALL, know how to laugh.
Laughter is so important. One of our fellas has a little bit of a hard time allowing himself to ENJOY things b/c he wants them to be a certain way. I purposefully mess with him to help him see the jokes. 🙂
I can’t speak to that question, since I only had one child, but she was her very own person from the get-go, asserting her preferences and personality. And that’s as it should be, but I spent the first few years marveling: “Wow, she really is a person!” I guess I expected babies to be more malleable, cooperative. But she was quite easy overall, and having her in my life has taught me so much. You have a beautiful family, Lysdrich. The fact that you’re a reflective mother, willing to see each child for what s/he is, bodes well for your happiness and your kids’ good mental health.
@RhondaGilmour from
Late Blooming Rose
I try hard to think about what I’m doing and find both ways to remedy whatever mistake I’ve made, rework my approach to things, or laugh at what has happened. Thanks for stopping by!