I don’t like little kids.

Let me explain.

In a conversation with a friend (who will remain nameless — but you know who you are), she revealed that while she would help with a certain task I needed, she’d prefer to not be in a group with her own children. I jokingly asked her, “Why?!?!” to which she replied with a very calm and clear response that she just really likes older kids rather than younger ones.

My response:

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I can trace the moment I realized I didn’t like little ones to the summer I was babysitting the same kid every day for, like, 2 months. He drove me insane. It was in that moment that my dreams of being an elementary teacher went out the window. I knew, without a doubt, that I couldn’t work with the same 20 to 30 kids on a daily basis without gouging my own eyes out.

Bathroom trips would require my assistance.

They can’t control their own vomit.

Snot runs rampant.

They cry at the drop of a hat.

So you might wonder why, then, did I have four of my own kids? Because they are my own kids, and I have the power.

When you are dealing with someone else’s small children, your authority only goes so far. 

But my kids? My kids know my rules and my consequences. 

And they’ll grow up in to awesome teenagers and young adults. And that’s the age I really like.

What is your favorite age?